


My Skies are Turning Gray

by Aylaar



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Anxiety, Anxiety Attacks, Anxiety Disorder, Crying, Depression, Eventual Romance, Gay, Heartbreak, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Panic Attacks, Romance, Social Anxiety, Suicidal Thoughts, Triggers
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-11-17
Updated: 2019-08-12
Packaged: 2019-08-24 17:21:51
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 11,362
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16644512
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Aylaar/pseuds/Aylaar
Summary: It's been seventy three days since Draco left his apartment, before that he'd spent two hundred and thirty five days in his bedroom at the Manor. His uncontrollable anxiety and depression is spiralling out of control until one day his doorbell rings.**TRIGGER WARNING: Anxiety, Depression, Suicidal Thoughts**





	1. Save me

**Author's Note:**

> So this is my first fic for like six years, so I hope you guys enjoy it.  
> Will update this two times a week, chapters will be much longer after this intro. <3

Day seventy three.  
Sitting on the balcony of his apartment, Draco sat staring up at the sparkling stars of the nights sky. He'd never left his apartment for seventy three days, he'd counted. Every morning he'd wake up and cross off another day on his calendar, he had developed horrific anxiety after the war and he'd spent two hundred and thirty five days in his bedroom at the Manor before his mother decided enough was enough and bought him the apartment.

Narcissa Malfoy loved her son very much, she'd hoped Draco would come out of his shell, learn new skills or enjoy life, he had plenty money so she knew he'd be fine, however fine he was not.

Sighing, Draco dragged a hand through his hair a single teardrop running down his cheeks. It wasn't as if he'd intended to stay in his apartment this long, but every time he felt like stepping out of his door he felt the overwhelming feeling of dread, enough to make him dizzy and sick and he'd given up the idea as fast as he'd ran to the door. Sometimes, Draco would run, hoping that he may actually get out because he'd never overthought it, that definitely wasn't the case.

Sitting up, he peered down at the pavement, his eyebrow raising slightly as he watched his childhood friend Blaise Zabini walking down the street with Ginny Weasley. "Man, I've missed too much." he whispered quietly to himself, peering over his shoulder at the mountainous stack of unread owls he'd left on the sideboard near the door.

Draco rose to his feet and walked towards the sideboard, placing a hand upon the stack of letters, shaking his head. Anxiety clouded his vision and he felt immediately sick. What if one of these letters contained something he didn't want to read? What if someone had sent him hate mail, telling him they wish he was dead. "I wish I was dead." he choked out, between tears. Slapping his cheeks, Draco closed his eyes and took a deep breath. "You're fine. You're fine." he repeated, maybe twenty times before he actually felt fine.  
Walking back over to the balcony door, he walked out and sat back down on his chair. 'Tomorrow' he thought, nodding his head.

\--

The next morning dawned, Draco opened his eyes and squinted, the sun blazing in his eyes. He'd fallen asleep in his chair again, this was likely not the last time he'd do this. Standing up, he shook his legs a little to relieve the cramp and yawned, walking through the balcony doors, he looked around his apartment. It was light and airy, white walls, plants everywhere - actually everything was white, not a speck of colour on the walls to be seen, the only colour he had in the entire apartment was the greens, purples, pinks and blues from the many potted plants that seemed to adorn the apartment.

Every time Draco's mother had come to visit, she'd brought a new plant. He assured her he'd left the apartment and he was having fun, though her knowing eyes seemed never to believe him.  
Walking through the large white wood arch to the kitchen, Draco walked up to his calendar and crossed another day off. "Day seventy four." he mumbled, shaking his head.  
After the war, at his trial Draco stood like a statue not uttering a word whilst Potter had testified for him, his eyes were fixed to the back wall the entire time, he'd tried desperately not to cry during the trial, this was very un-Malfoy-ish he'd thought at the time, but as time had gone on and Draco had changed he found that he really didn't care about what was expected of him, what made him 'Malfoy-ish' or really, well anything. The only reason he hadn't attempted to jump off the very balcony he'd fallen asleep on every single day for thirty three days was because he was a coward. 

Shaking him out of his thoughts, Draco looked towards the large white front door of his apartment, his eyes wide with panic. The doorbell. The doorbell. The doorbell. He repeated this in his head about twelve times, each time the doorbell rang he felt sick. Slowly making his way to the intercom, Draco pressed the button his bottom lip trembling. "H-H-Hel..oo?" he stammered, sweat began to drip down his forehead at the very thought of talking to another human. 

"Hi." the reply came. Draco frowned and pressed down the button again. "Hi?" He replied, trying to regain composure but he was failing miserably. "Is this Malfoy? It's Harry, Harry Potter. I saw your mother in Diagon Alley yesterday and she asked me to come over, apparently you wanted to speak to me?" Draco's eyes wide, he was stunned in place, his mouth wide open. He held his hand beside the button for about 40 seconds before he pressed it. "I think... I.. You... No..." Draco clenched his fist, his whole body had began to shake and he jolted, pressing the button with his hand the intercom buzzed to let him in.

Eyes wide, Draco fell to his knees and shook his head. "No... No.. N-o-o.." he put his hands over his head and started to rock himself. "Please..."  
A quick knock on his door and Draco fell apart even more.

"Malfoy?" Potter shouted, knocking a bit more abruptly after a few minutes. "Malfoy?!" he shouted louder, seemingly getting annoyed.  
Attempting to get off his knees, Draco stumbled a few more times before managing to prop himself on the front door, he started to fumble clicking the lock on his door he opened it slightly, his eyes scanning Potters face.

Harry looked startled. "Malfoy?!?"


	2. Maybe

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's chapter two, from Harry's perspective. Thanks for all the kudos guys! Please let me know if you liked it. ^.^  
> Next chapter will be continued from the first <3

It was a hot day, Harry had opted for his favourite pair of worn out blue jeans and a plain black t-shirt. He'd spent the day in Diagon Alley trapsing around the many shops in search of a gift for Hermione's birthday. After the war, Harry had decided to move in to Grimmauld Place and frequented the Leaky Cauldron once per week.

Stood outside Eeylops Owl Emporium, he sighed. Memories of Hedwig popped in to his head, a small sad smile gracing his chapped lips. Shaking his head, he bit his bottom lip and walked away, towards Flourish and Blotts. 

Inside, Harry looked around the many shelves knowing exactly what it was Hermione had wanted. Hermione had gotten very friendly with Neville and spent quite a lot of time with him these days, being a clever witch she'd decided to learn more about Neville's interests and had mentioned buying One Thousand Magical Herbs and Fungi which apparently Flourish and Blotts had sold.  
"Hello Mr. Potter." came the voice to his right. Turning his head, Harry's eyes settled upon Narcissa Malfoy - he hadn't seen her in a while, her hair was completely white, still very polished she wore a large dark green robe her hair in a light up-do. Her face drawn in, she had noticeable wrinkles and a small smile on her face. 

"Mrs. Malfoy." he replied politely, nodding his head towards her. "How are you, dear?" she asked. Harry wasn't quite sure whether she was being courteous or not, he had never really figured out Narcissa Malfoy, she always appeared quite unenthusiastic towards other people, rather cold unless it was her own family. He knew she loved them dearly, always curious whether or not she ever extended that to others.

"Good, thank you. Yourself?" he replied, an impassive look on his face. "I'm just fine, thank you." She nodded, her smile which was rather small previously had grown a little - not enough to not still wonder whether she actually cared to be talking to him. "Draco was asking after you last I seen him, he actually wanted to talk to you." bringing her thin dainty hand up to her hair she brushed a small strand that seemed to fall out of her gold hair clip.

Oh really?" Harry frowned, scratching the side of his face. "Did he tell you what he wanted?" he asked, clearly confused. _Malfoy? Wanting to talk to him?_ Didn't seem like a thing he'd ever have figured, yet stranger things have happened.

"No, he never mentioned. I'll give you his address - perhaps around tomorrow morning?" she suggested, eyes twinkling. Reaching in to her robe pocket, Narcissa retrieved a scrap of high quality parchment out, a quill and a small bottle of ink. She turned around and leaned on one of the wooden benches which seemed to dot around most of the shop, popped open her ink and scribbled something down on the parchment. 

Harry stood awkwardly whilst he waited, he wasn't quite sure how he managed to be talking to Narcissa Malfoy inside Flourish and Blotts, actually he wasn't sure he'd seen the woman anywhere since the trial. "I'll be sure to pop in tomorrow then." he said, louder than he intended which seemed to startle her.

"Yes, yes thank you." turning around, she passed on the piece of parchment and within a few seconds had exited the shop.  
Well.. That was weird." he mumbled, shaking his head slightly. Peering down at the piece of paper, he frowned. _Malfoy lives in an apartment?_ laughing to himself, Harry stuffed the parchment in to his back pocket and continued on towards the bookshelves.

"Would you like some help?" the voice came of a young witch. "Oh, yes, I'm looking for One Thousand Magical Herbs an-" He was interrupted, the witch seemed rather enthusiastic. "Fungi!" she exclaimed, smiling brightly at him. "Yes! That's right over here!" She flapped her arms around like some sort of demented chicken and ran over to the bookshelf labelled 'Herbology'  
"Thank you." Harry smiled, following the girl over to the bookcase. "Thanks again." he repeated, she nodded her head far too much - almost as though she wanted it to pop off her shoulders. "You're welcome!" she nearly shouted at him and skipped off towards the counter.

Harry dragged a hand through his untamed hair and squinted. _What a weird day_ Picking up the book, he walked towards the counter, placed a couple galleons on the counter and smiled. "Thanks." he nodded and turned to walk away. "No! Thank YOU Mr. Potter!" the young girl this time did shout. Harry winced and walked towards the door, the sound of the bell dinging as he left. 

_Malfoy's tomorrow then I suppose._

 

\--

 

Later on in the day, Harry apparated outside the Burrow, he could already hear the hustle and bustle of people inside, Molly shouting for Ron to stop eating all of the mince pies she'd cooked. "Mince pies are Christmas Mum, not birthdays!" Ron shouted with a mouth-full. "Oh Ronald, don't talk when you're eating!" she scolded, making Harry smile. He'd loved his time here, with the closest thing to family he would ever have.

Opening the door, Harry walked inside and grinned. "Happy Birthday Hermione." Hermione hadn't changed much, her hair was longer and her eyes were brighter than ever, she wore an ankle length black sleeveless dress, her bouncy hair falling all around her shoulders. "Thanks Harry." 

In from the kitchen came Ron, mouth still full of food. "Hiya Harry." he choked out, food spluttering everywhere. "Goodness Ron, what did your mother just tell you?" she teased, batting his shoulder lightly. "Here, I got you a gift." Harry passed over the book, realising he'd not actually bothered to wrap it. "Oh thanks Harry, see Ronald - at least someone listens to me." smirking, she accepted the book and wrapped Harry in to a hug. "It's good to see you Harry."

The rest of the night went well, they played exploding snap, Molly shared stories of their childhood - they drunk butterbeer, happily chatting away. The Burrow was always a warm, welcoming place - nick-knacks, ornaments scattered around the well loved home. It was a safe, loving place Harry never failed to enjoy coming to. Ginny was off playing professional Quidditch, Mr. Weasley attending one of her many matches as his daughters biggest fan. "It's a shame Mr. Weasley wasn't here to celebrate" Harry mentioned, not knowing where he was. "Oh yes, he's off watching another game." Molly shook her head, smiling. "So proud, he is." 

Later on in the night and fuller than he'd ever been after being offered possibly more than his body weight in food, he thanked Molly and said his goodbyes to Ron and Hermione, walking outside he apparated just outside Grimmauld Place, the nights air had set in instantly chilling him. 

Harry dreaded going home, knowing how empty it was - how empty he felt when he was alone.


	3. I'm fine

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here is chapter 3, I think it may be updated more than two times a week like I originally planned since ideas keep popping in to my head and I just have to put them down heh. Thank you so much for all the kudos, I'm really excited to see where this goes. <3

"Malfoy?!?"

Draco bit hard on his lower lip, drawing blood which now began to pool in his mouth - this was a habit that seemed to plague Draco lately, his lower lip covered in cuts - some of which appeared bruised. Draco's hair was long, sitting just below his shoulders, his face drawn in and gaunt, wearing a plain white t-shirt and a pair of grey slacks a few sizes too big for him. 

"What do you want?" He stuttered out, trying to regain composure. He didn't want to appear this way to anyone, especially the Savior of the Wizarding World. Draco's heart began to beat rapidly, he was sure he could hear it. 

Harry, still startled opened his mouth and then shut it once again. He'd never expected the Malfoy stood in front of him, a pang of guilt bubbled in his stomach. Some people never got over the war, ending up in St Mungo's for PTSD, some going mad with grief. Sighing, Harry bowed his head slightly, he was so busy in a world of his own he'd forgotten the people outside his inner circle. He'd never held much care for Malfoy in his younger years, the pompous prick he was.

"Well, I was in Diagon Alley yesterday" Harry began, his head rising from its bowed state, he then turned it to the side, frowning. "I er, I was looking for well a present and I ran in to your mother." he scratched the side of his face awkwardly, feeling increasingly uncomfortable. Draco just stood staring at him, not uttering a word, not an insult, no sarcasm, no coldness, his eyes were dull, he almost looked like he was ready to cry.

"Hm." Draco mumbled, looking down at his feet. "Oh, yes." Draco remembered at the door, Potter had mentioned something about his mother - he was too busy his favourite word to explain it _spazzing out_ he'd forgotten most of what he was told.

"She er, she mentioned that you er, well you wanted to speak to me?" more a question than anything else, Harry felt rather unusual standing at Malfoy's doorstep - he wasn't really sure whether he should have actually come. "I can come back some other time if you want, or not at all er, I can see that er..." He trailed off.  
"I-I-I, I'm - Not really -" Draco tried to speak, but the words didn't seem to want to come out of his mouth, he turned around and looked towards the balcony, wondering whether he'd be better off just running out on to it and pretending he didn't exist. 

"Are you alright Malfoy?" Harry pulled his wand out of his trouser pocket, frowning. "Is there someone here?" He asked, slightly concerned, his eyes began to dart around the apartment - he noted that the apartment was pretty plain and not like he'd expect of Draco Malfoy, he'd expected something regal and full of self importance, but the man in front of him resembled none of that.

"Yes, fine." he stammered, nodding his head rather too enthusiastically for Harry's taste. Potter pushed past Malfoy and began to walk around the apartment, his wand raised up - stance ready to hex whoever seemed to be making Malfoy act this way. He walked in to the wooden arch to the kitchen, Harry noted his kitchen was as plain as his sitting room - white counters, white counter tops, white table, white everything. He raised an eyebrow and turned around - walking now towards the door directly across from the kitchen. Taking a deep breath, Harry opened the door and stepped inside - wand still raised. 

Malfoy's bedroom, he presumed. His bed was unmade, clothes scattered the floor, books and what seemed to be newspapers, cups and plates. Harry turned around and looked towards Malfoy, who had never moved an inch since he'd started investigating however his eyes followed Harry around the apartment.  
His eyes settling on the last door, Harry stalked towards it pulled the handle down quickly and burst in to the room which was Malfoy's bathroom. A single shower, toilet and sink. Everything was white.

A confused look on his face, Harry walked out of the bathroom and towards Malfoy, who was still in the exact same spot. "Nobody is here." stating the obvious, Harry closed the front door and turned. "Did you need to speak to me?"

"No." Draco replied simply, averting his gaze from Harry's face. "Did you talk to your mother recently?" 

"No." he repeated.

"I couldn't help notice the calendar in the kitchen, are you planning a vacation?" Harry tried to lighten the mood, unsure of what the actual hell was going on. "No." Draco repeated, again. The _no_ answers were really starting to annoy him by now.   
"What are they then?" he rolled his eyes, wondering if he was going to get an answer or just another no.

"Seventy four." Draco shrugged, slowly walking towards the far side of the room towards the balcony door. "Seventy four days, I-I haven't left for seventy four days." he said quietly, hoping Potter hadn't heard him.

"Seventy four days?! Since you left your apartment?" shocked, Harry followed him towards the balcony door, following him through he noticed the well worn lounger chair as well as its twin which didn't seem to be as worn as the other. "Yes." Draco sat down on his chair and reclined backwards, staring up at the sky. 

"Why?" Harry sat down on the empty chair and turned his head towards Draco. "Are you on house arrest?" He placed his hands on his lap and waited, after a few minutes Draco turned his head towards Harry and shook it. "No, I don't leave. I just don't." his voice was shaky, but he was starting to feel a little more stable now. This happened quite often when his mother came around too, not to say it wouldn't get worse in a few minutes time - it was unpredictable.

"Right. Er. Well, okay." Harry reached up and scratched the side of his head, unsure of what to say. "Well, if you don't need anything - I can, I will go then." he nodded, standing up. "I'm sorry for bothering you, maybe your mother misunderstood you." he started to walk towards the balcony door and turned back, frowning.

"She just cares, I think." mumbled Draco, looking upside down at Harry. "Tea?" He asked, pulling the recliner in, he stood up and bit the inside of his mouth. "Do you want... Tea?" he asked again, trying to gauge Harry's response.

Harry, who looked confused, shocked, unsettled and well uneasy nodded his head and offered a small smile. "Sure, thank you." he replied, walking through the doorway.  
Draco jogged towards the kitchen and set to making tea, he filled his kettle up and placed it back on its base, clicking the button to set it to boil. Reaching up, he opened the cupboard door above him and pulled two cups out setting them down on the counter beside the kettle. He took two teabags out of the small white pot below the cupboards and placed the teabags in to each cup. "Um, one sugar and milk please." Harry added, eyeing Draco whilst he prepared the tea.

After a minute or two, Draco had produced two semi drinkable cups of tea and handed one to Harry, he walked towards his table and sat down carefully cupping his hands round the mug.

"How long before seventy four days did you stay inside?" Harry asked, wondering if maybe that was rude. He followed Draco towards the table and sat down in the seat opposite him. "Um, not much more." Draco lied, staring down at the tea in the cup. Harry eyed him suspiciously but didn't press. 

Twenty minutes later in semi-awkward silence, Harry stood up and took his cup to the sink, washing it out before setting it in the drying rack on Malfoy's draining board. "Thank you for the tea." said Harry slowly, turning round to face Malfoy from across the room.

"No, it's, it's fine." Malfoy nodded. He stood up from the table and walked towards the sink, placing his own cup beside Harry's. 

"Well, I should go, I have some.. Er.. Work to do today." Harry said slowly. "Okay, yes." Draco walked through the archway and made his way back to the balcony he turned his head slightly and noticed that Harry had followed him. "Thank you for coming." he offered a small smile and went to sit back down on his lounge chair.

Harry balanced on one foot, debating on whether he should follow Malfoy before shaking his head - this was a sign he'd rather he left? Was it? "Well, see you later Malfoy." he shouted, not receiving a response he walked towards the front door, opened it and slipped out lightly closing it behind him. 

_What happened?_


	4. Tea?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the late post, my poor mum has tonsillitis so I've been going to her house to help her. ^.^  
> Thanks for all the kudos guys. <3

Seventy five days. Draco had fallen asleep on the lounge chair shortly after Harry had left and woke up at around eight in the morning to the feeling of raindrops on his face. Squinting, he looked around sighing. _Bloody British weather_ thought Draco. Propping himself up, he looked down off the glass panel of his balcony, noting that the ground was also wet so he had to have been sleeping for a while in the rain.

Standing up, he turned around and walked through his balcony door, he wondered the last time he actually shut this door, noting that he should probably start actually going to bed instead of cramping his legs in the chair outside, that and giving himself a chill. 

Wandering to his bedroom, Draco realised the door was still open from when Harry had entered the room, he cringed when he thought of Potter going in to his bedroom with the state it was currently in. It wasn't as though Draco was a messy person, he just ended up taking everything to his bedroom when he was having a bad day and essentially crying himself to sleep.  
 _When did you get this pathetic, tosser._ he rolled his eyes and picked up two plates stacking them on top of each other he grabbed two cups by the handles and made his way towards the kitchen, setting them on the side.

He picked up his pen and crossed off another day on his calendar. It was the 20th September today. He woke up feeling a lot better than he had on previous days. _Should probably eat something today._ he took a mental note and wandered back in to his living room, he sat down on the cream coloured corner sofa and looked around, wondering what he could possibly do today.

\--

Harry woke up, groaning loudly he flailed around and arched his back. "Fucking hell" he moaned, putting his arm over his eyes. He'd gone out and gotten utterly smashed after he left Draco's. Everyone thought Harry Potter would have gone on to do great things, but in all honesty he'd actually done absolutely nothing except brood, drink and brood some more.  
Pulling himself out of bed, he yawned and swore again, shaking his head. "Another day another fucking arse ache." he mumbled to himself, standing up he stretched out, his joints clicking.  
Harry clicked the radio on beside his bed and walked in to his bathroom, he quickly showered and walked in to his bedroom again - dressing in another pair of beaten up jeans and a green and black striped t-shirt, he pulled his vans on shoved his wand in his pocket and apparated.

\--

Draco had picked up a book off his bookshelf and spent the last three hours reading out on his balcony. Still raining, Draco had cast a protective shield around himself - utterly engrossed in his book.

"Malfoy, come on we're going out." Harry shouted up, standing sheepishly in the middle of the road. Oncoming traffic had started honking their horns at him.   
Raising an eyebrow, Draco looked down to the street over the top of his book, wondering where the shouting came from. It was a relatively quiet street minus the passing muggle vehicles but Draco had began to get used to this. His eyes widened at the sight of a dishevelled Potter. "What?" he shouted back, putting his book down beside him he rose from the chair and walked to the edge of the balcony.

"Hurry up or I'll drag you out." Potter shouted again, he had began to grin widely.

"Are you drunk?" Draco eyed him accusingly, his heart rate had began to speed up and his palms had become sweaty. Draco could feel his calm exterior crashing around him at a rapid rate.  
"Just hurry up." Rolling his eyes, Harry walked towards the apartment buzzer and began to press it quickly, which infuriated Draco. He hated the bloody buzzer, his mother, Potter, the book, the rain, his apartment, himself. "Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck" Draco repeated over and over again as he walked towards the intercom. "Fuck" he whispered to himself before he pressed the button to let Harry in.

\--

Harry hadn't really a clue why he had decided to apparate outside Malfoy's building, he had no idea why he felt sorry for Malfoy or why he did half the bloody stupid things he did, but here he was making his way up the stairs towards the pointy pricks apartment.

Banging on the door, Harry began to tap his feet. "Open the door Malfoy" he shouted, tapping on it again.

Draco opened the door slowly and glared at Harry, who shrugged his shoulders. "Come on, get your shit together."

No idea whether to laugh or cry at that, Draco walked towards his shoe rack, slipped on some brogues, picked up his black linen coat and pulled it round himself. "Where are we going?" He asked shakily, unsure.

Harry had not really thought this through. _where are we going?_ he thought to himself, shrugging his shoulders again. Draco grumbled at his response, buttoned up his coat, checked the mirror and noted in disgust that he looked seriously underweight. Walking towards the door, Draco stopped at the doorstep and peered down to the floor, here he was at the intersection of his life - he started to feel light headed and sick. "I can't" he whimpered, stepping backwards away from the door.

Harry frowned and walked through the door, then out again. "Is it magically charmed?" he asked, waving his hand in and out of it. "You are on house arrest!" he shouted accusingly, staring at Malfoy intently.

"No, noo-" He shook his head and just sat down on the floor, pulling his legs up to his chest. "I can't leave, I-I've tried, I can't." he started to panic, his breathing became heavier and he started to cry.

Harry, bewildered at the situation walked in to the apartment, closed the door and knelt in front of Malfoy, moving his hair away from his face. "What do you mean you can't?" he asked softly, beginning to feel a pang of guilt. 

"I feel... I feel.. Sick...Dizzy..I can't" Draco shook his head and wiped the tears that had fallen down his cheeks away. "I can't" repeated the blonde, who looked up at Harry with teary eyes. "I-I'm a coward."

Wrapping his arms around Draco, Harry pulled him in to an awkward hug and frowned "We're all fucked up in our own way Malfoy, you can't help how you are." he sighed, closing his eyes. Harry thought back to some of the things that had been thrust upon him, even at a young age still with the Dursleys. "You just gotta take it a day at a time eh?" he added.

After some awkward twenty minutes of hugging, Harry pulled back the corners of his mouth twitching to somewhat of a smile. "You alright?" he asked, pulling himself to his feet, he put a hand out for Draco who took it carefully and helped him up.

"Y-Yes, thank...you?" It came out as more of a question, but Draco was wildly uncomfortable with the situation, Potter his 'Arch Nemesis' had hugged him? Comforted him. 

"I'll er, I'll come back tomorrow yeah? We can try again?" Asked Harry, a blush staining his cheeks. "To help..." he trailed off, scratching the side of his head.

"Tea?" Draco smiled.


	5. Life is strange

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's the next chapter! Let me know what you guys think so far (:

Harry smiled back, curiously. "Sure, tea sounds good." He followed Malfoy to the kitchen and walked over to the window, looking over at the other apartments on the other side of the road, he watched as the rain poured, half listening to Malfoy tap around the room and the whistle of the kettle.

"It's nice here." Harry commented, biting his bottom lip. He hated Grimmauld, it was full of memories he'd rather push to the back of his mind. He had his heart broken far too many times to heal, now he was just gluing the pieces back together with crazy glue. "Peaceful." He added, nodding his head.

Draco turned towards Harry when he had prepared two cups of tea and watched him carefully, he'd listened to him but decided not to respond - he wasn't sure if he was meant to. He had no idea what Harry was thinking but it appeared to Draco he was just as broken as he was - going from cool and chill to vulnerable in a few minutes. "Here's your tea." he said slowly, passing Harry the steaming cup.

"Thank you." Harry nodded, taking the cup willingly. He cupped the mug with both hands and continued to look out the window, watching droplets run down the high windows.  
"My mother bought me this apartment, she said she wanted me to live my life." He laughed shakily, sipping on his tea. "When she comes around, she brings me a plant and I have to make up some sort of story to appease her." Draco sighed.

Harry nodded again, drinking his tea. "The world is so fucked up, we fought a war some of us good some of us bad, some of us we lost and now when we're done everyone gets to move the fuck on and leave us behind, nobody wants to talk about it because it's to painful to talk about, but we can't move on because we have no closure and now they don't need us they don't give a fuck." Harry spat, shaking his head in disbelief.

Draco, shocked by his outburst pursed his lips. "I suppose, you're right." he nodded with him, sipping his tea again. "I didn't do good, but I didn't want to lose my family - my father was a grade A+ asshole but he was my father."

"I would have killed everyone for my parents." Harry sighed, looking towards Draco. "Nobody who had a good family could ever say otherwise. Ron would have killed all of us if his family was on the line, the same with Hermione. She fucking obliviated her parents - she would have killed for them." 

Not really knowing what to say to this, Draco finished his tea, turned and took his cup to the sink. He noted that he really ought to do his dishes as they had began to stack up.   
"But I could have saved so many lives by just letting them die." he said quietly. "Now I just feel like I'm falling down." 

"Doesn't matter what side you picked, those who don't feel the same are lying to themselves." Harry shrugged, following Malfoy he placed his mug beside his and looked up at his gray eyes.  
"I know we don't like each other, but I don't want you to feel like how I feel." Draco bit his lip and looked down at his feet, he felt as though Harry could see his entire soul through his eyes and it made his heart jump.

"I haven't hated you for a long time, Malfoy." Harry sighed, walking through to the living room.

Fear gripped Draco and he jogged to follow him. "Are you leaving?" he asked, clenching his fists.

"Well, do you want me to stay?" He asked, turning towards Malfoy.

"I could read to you." Draco frowned at his words, not really knowing where they came from. Harry laughed and shrugged his shoulders. "Why not, go on then."

\--

Draco and Harry had ventured in to the balcony area, Draco on his usual chair and Harry beside him. They talked for a while about their lives, friends and everything in between. Harry was pleased he got a few smiles out of Malfoy, unsure of really why he was pleased about it but pleased he was nevertheless.  
"I'm reading The Great Gatsby" Draco held the book up to show Harry, who looked surprised. "Didn't think that would be to your taste" Harry teased, smiling slightly. Draco shrugged and bit his lip. 

"I found it in a bookstore down the road, or well rather my mother did and she thought I'd like it." he frowned and opened the book to the page he was on. "Do you want me to read it from the start?" he asked, unsure. The thought of Narcissa walking in to a muggle bookstore brought a smile to Harry's lips, he wondered if his mother had been worried all along, obviously Malfoy didn't actually want to talk to him about anything, was he the one to 'save' Draco?

Harry mimiced Draco's earlier movements and shrugged, casting a quick protective spell to shield them from the rain. "If you give me a run down, then you can start from where you left off." he leaned back in the lounge chair and laced his hands together, closing his eyes.

Draco explained for the next thirty minutes the gist of the book, rather animated his eyes sparkling with enthusiasm, something Harry hadn't really experienced from the other man well, ever. _you never talked to Malfoy before Harry_ he thought to himself, nodding his head as he spoke.

Beginning to read, Draco settled in his chair.

_Maybe I was wrong all along._ Harry thought as he listened to Draco reading, he thought back to their childhood, thought about what Draco had mentioned earlier about his family - he would have done anything for his family too had they been alive. He frowned, chewing on his lip in thought. Pushing the thoughts away, Harry concentrated on Draco's words, smiling as different things peaked his interest, scowling at others.

After a couple of hours, Draco ran to the kitchen to fetch some tea and biscuits, when he returned he transfigured a couple of his mothers plants in to side tables and settled the cups and plate of biscuits down on top. "Do you want to continue?" Draco asked warily, sitting down on his seat.

"Of course." Harry smiled, reaching for his cup he took a sip of his tea. "Ahh, good tea." he complimented, grabbing a few biscuits he began to chomp as Draco read.

The sky had began to darken, there was a half moon tonight which illuminated the nights sky. It was a relatively mild night with many stars visible overhead. Harry had grabbed some blankets from Draco's living room earlier. 

Stomach rumbling, Harry groaned. "Do you want to get something to eat?" He asked, turning his head towards Draco. He hadn't actually noticed that he'd stopped reading, what he did lay his eyes on was a very much asleep Malfoy book on his chest clutching the blanket Harry had wrapped around him earlier.

"Okay then." he laughed and closed his eyes. _Life is strange._


	6. Sing me to sleep

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it's late, my lovely mum is doing a lot better now. ^.^

In a darkened room, Draco sat in the corner, the only light visible coming from a torch on the right hand side, the room was triangle shaped, the stench of death enveloped his senses. "Hello?" he called out, his voice trembling. Draco hadn't really put a lot of thought in to the way he would die, he wasn't really sure when it would happen or why, he knew that his past was jaded, he knew that his family hadn't exactly much of a moral compass, he'd known that he was just basically a pure asshole when he was younger, he'd always been scared of death but he hadn't really thought about how it would happen.

Trying to stand, Draco realised that he couldn't, suddenly a bright light came towards him, he held a breath in, squinting his eyes to adjust, looking down at his legs he frowned, he wasn't sure why they weren't working.

"You're not worth anything, Malfoy." came a sinister voice, one he couldn't quite place. "Why are you still here? After everything you've done." came another, that of a woman. "You sicken me, you sicken everyone - just die." another, Draco began to cry, he wrapped his arms around his head and shook. 

"Please stop." Draco called out, his voice echoed as though the room was 100 foot wide and 100 foot long, he cried and cried, his sleeves becoming soaked with tears, he then gasped as he began to feel himself falling, the floor gave away and he was falling and falling, the faces of the dead appearing all around him to taunt him, he started to scream.   
He finally reached the bottom of wherever he was, laying on an ashen pile of corpses mounted high, the smell of rotting corpses stronger than ever he looked down at his feet, his fathers face - he was stood on him, he was stood on his mother, he could see his godfather Severus, everyone he ever cared about and in front of him stood Harry Potter.  
"Malfoy?" He called, trying to get up the pile of bones towards him. "Malfoy, are you alright?" he shouted, Draco's vision blurred and started to shake, he fell to his knees, trembling.

"MALFOY" Harry shouted loudly.

 

\-------------------

 

Opening his eyes, Draco gasped for breath and looked up, locking eyes with Harry who had an increasingly pained, concerned expression on his face. "Are you okay?" Potter asked, biting his bottom lip. "I think you were having a nightmare, you started to scream, I-I don't I thought I-" 

Draco jumped up and wrapped his arms around Harry's shoulders, his entire body shaking, he was sweating, his eyes wide with horror, he clutched him tightly and began to cry. 

They stood there for a few minutes, Harry just rubbed his back soothingly, unsure of what to say. He had his fair share of nightmares. "I'm sorry." Draco whispered, closing his eyes tightly. After another couple of minutes, he pulled back and stared at Potter, he was embarrassed and ashamed. "I'm sorry" he repeated, now looking down at his feet.

"It's alright, I have them too." Harry sighed, running a hand through his hair. "I hoped they'd go away after, well after he was dead, but they're even worse." he shrugged his shoulders and turned towards the door of the balcony. "Do you want to get something to eat?" He asked Draco lightly, gesturing with his hand towards the kitchen.

"Um, yes." Draco replied, still embarrassed at his outburst. "I don't actually think I have anything to... Eat" in almost a whisper, Draco shoved his hands in to his trouser pockets and followed Harry towards the kitchen.

"I can go out and get something to bring back, or we could go to the cafe - there's one like a few doors down from you, I noticed it last time." Harry looked towards Draco, who looked like he was having a mini panic attack and shrugged his shoulders. "I'm happy to do both."  
"Why are you helping me?" Draco questioned, raising an eyebrow at Harry - they'd never been friends before, if his mother had set this up what had she said to Potter that made him so intent on helping him, being here with him?

"Believe it or not, Malfoy - we're not exactly so different." Harry rolled his eyes, holding his hand out to him. "Come on Wendy, lets go eat." he laughed sarcastically.   
"Wendy?" Draco turned his nose up, a deep frown etched on his features. "Never mind, come on." Harry smiled.

 

\-----

 

Draco had gotten dressed, wearing his usual linen jacket - shoes on, hair slightly brushed - he looked like he had seen better days but it was an improvement to earlier. He looked towards Harry and bit his lip.  
Harry held out his hand to Draco and smiled, nodding his head towards the hand. "Come on, you can do it. I'll be here and I'll kick in whoever comes near you." He joked, Draco seemed to take this quite well, as he reached out and took Potters hand - a jolt of electricity stunned him, Harry looked away and cleared his throat. 

Opening the front door, Harry walked out and tugged Draco's hand to follow him, his heart had began to beat rapidly and he already felt sick. Leaving his sanctuary? He walked a step froward and let go of Harry's hand to clutch his arm, he walked out of his door, flinching as it closed behind him. 

"What kind of food do you like?" Harry asked, pulling Draco along with him as they exited his apartment building. "Hmm, well breakfast I like pancakes, or maybe crumpets." Draco pondered the idea and shrugged his shoulders. "Syrup, maple." He added, Harry listened intently and smiled as Draco listed nearly the entirety of all breakfast items in the history of the universe, a squeak of shock came out of Draco's mouth as they stopped in front of the Cafe Nine.

"You did it." Harry grinned, opening the door he gestured for Draco to enter, to which he did happily - quite proud of himself for having done what seemed to be impossible. The cafe was relatively empty, Harry had followed behind him and without thinking the blonde had grabbed a hold of Harry's arm again. "So did you decide what you wanted, because you kind of told me every breakfast food in the world." Harry teased as he found a table near the window and sat down.

"Full English I suppose." Draco looked down at the small menu which was perched upon a slate brick. "But no black pudding because that shit is disgusting." He turned his nose up at it and grabbed the menu, skimming through it.

"What can I get you?" A pretty young brunette smiled, holding on to a yellow notepad and a pen. "Two full english please, both with no black pudding." Harry winked, looking thoroughly amused by the situation.

"Earl Gray, milk, sugar" Draco added, looking up at the girl stood in front of them. "Oh you're in my building." she smiled enthusiastically. "I have only seen you once though, I assume you're busy." she quickly jotted down the orders and walked off towards the counter.

"Busy." Draco laughed, biting his lower lip.

When their food arrived, Draco and Harry happily ate and chatted together, the occasional laugh or chuckle coming from Draco, which cheered Harry up immeasurably.  
"Do you want to do this again tomorrow?" Draco asked cautiously, eyeing Harry. "You don't have to, but...." he trailed off, as though he was distracted by his own thoughts. "It's nice."  
Harry nodded in agreement and smiled. "I'd love to."


	7. Tender curiosity

Three days later and Draco's calendar had been forgotten. He'd spent every morning with Harry, he'd gone back and forth to the cafe but hadn't managed to venture further than that. He'd almost had a panic attack yesterday at the mere mention of trying a different cafe, the girl they'd been served by was called Adele or rather that's what her name tag said. She always seemed pleased they'd returned, they chatted often when the cafe became empty.

Draco walked slowly down the cobbled road towards the cafe, side by side with Harry. He'd had a look on his face all morning that of being lost in thought - he wondered when Harry would get bored of Draco's presence, whether he would move on and get married, have children like the 'Golden Boy' was supposed to do - though the man in the media was not the man he knew, they seemed to get their portrayal of Harry wrong every time they published a new article in the god forsaken Daily Prophet.

"Are you alright?" Harry asked worriedly, biting his lower lip. He'd been watching Draco carefully, he wasn't sure when the other man would end up running back to his apartment, Harry never judged though he thought it odd, possibly because he'd never experienced anything like it before. 

"Yes. Fine." Draco mumbled, reaching the doors to Cafe Nine. Adele rushed towards their table as they took a seat a great grin spread on her face. "Hi boys! Nice to see you today." she grabbed her pen from behind her ear and brought it to her small yellow paged notepad. "What can I get you on this dark, gloomy Sunday?" she laughed.

Draco shrugged his shoulders and turned to Harry, who shrugged his shoulders also. "Full English?" Harry suggested, smiling at the curt nod he got in response. "Oh and tea, you got Tetley here?" Adele giggled and nodded. "Yeah, we got Earl Gray, Tetley, PG Tips and err..." She turned her head towards the counter and squinted "Some like herbal stuff, I dunno it's popular with the hipsters and such." she turned her head back towards Harry who had a look of amusement on his face.

"Right... Well Earl Gray for Draco and I'll take Tetley." Harry scratched the side of his face and turned his head to the window. 

Scribbling down the orders, Adele gave a small salute and jogged off towards the kitchen.

"Maybe I should visit my mother." Draco mumbled, biting the inside of his mouth. The young girl walked back with two pots of tea and placed them down on the table, she had two mugs under her arm which she placed down on the table after. "What's your name?" Harry asked casually, looking up at her. "Oh, Adele." her cheeks pinked slightly. Pointing down to her name tag, she shrugged her shoulders. 

"You're Harry and Draco, I heard you talking." her blush deepened, she bit her lip lightly and looked towards Draco who was eyeing her with curiosity. "I'm glad you guys come back, we don't have a lot of regular customers here and my boss was worried people didn't like his cafe." she admitted, sighing. "I don't want to be jobless again." she added.

"I'll go grab your breakfasts!" she announced enthusiastically once again and walked back to the counter. "She seems nice." Draco frowned, staring down at his mug, he picked the teapot up and began pouring his tea in the cup. "I think she likes you." he looked up at Harry, who looked stricken. "Oh she isn't my type." He cleared his throat.

Draco raised an eyebrow and laughed. "Red hair, thin, dainty and young?" he teased, smirking. "Seems like your type to me." clearly amused, he added two sugars then the milk to his tea and began stirring. 

"I know what you're getting at, Draco." Harry rolled his eyes, pushing his mug away. "Ginny and I broke up ages ago, the last I heard she's dating Blaise Zabini." Draco's eyes shot up from his mug, a deep frown setting on his face. "Blaise? Since when?"

Harry chuckled "Months, I last seen her at the Burrow after Ron's birthday. They live together I think - and anyway I prefer blondes." he shrugged.

Draco raised an eyebrow, thinking back to Harry's friendship with Luna Lovegood - if not a bit nuts she was a pretty girl. He shrugged his shoulders, attracting the searching eyes of Potter in the process. "What?" Harry asked a smirk on his face. "Nothing." Draco mumbled in response.

After Adele had come back with their breakfasts, Draco and Harry had ate their entire breakfast in silence, Draco pondering the thought he'd had earlier still, he pushed his fork around his plate, occasionally stabbing something but not eating anything really, eventually he picked up a piece of buttered toast and started crunching on it, the thought was a little sickening to be quite honest, he'd never thought he'd leave his apartment ever - but now he had done it he wasn't sure he was strong enough to do it alone.

"Well that was nice." Harry mused, gathering up the plates, forks and cups he wandered towards the counter and placed them down, passing his usual generous tip towards Adele, who had a deep scarlet blush plastered upon her cheeks. "Thank you." she grinned, taking the payment for the breakfasts also.

Draco stared out the window in quiet contemplation, watching the sparkling droplets of rain run down the window, the sky was dark and gloomy Adele had been right. He'd never really noticed the weather when he was walking down the road, he found that concentrating on one thing helped with his panic attacks a little better outside. 

Appearing at his side, Harry followed Draco's eyes and wondered what was running through the other mans head, he was difficult to read. "Well, we should go." Shaking Draco out of his thought, he looked up to Harry his eyes searching, so much so Harry averted his eyes as though his thoughts had been read, thinking of Legilimency Harry shuddered.  
"Yes, we should." Standing up, Draco pushed his chair back in and headed towards the door, holding it open for Harry he waved slightly to Adele who was waving wildly at the two of them. "See you tomorrow!" she shouted grinning. 

"Odd, that one." Harry laughed, pulling the door closed behind him. "What do you want to do now then?" Draco shrugged his shoulders in response. "I think I'm going to read."

\-----------------------------------

After they'd arrived back at Draco's apartment, Harry had immediately put the kettle on and frowned to himself, he wasn't actually sure the last time he'd gone home and Draco's calendar wasn't much help. He'd noticed he'd stopped crossing the days off on the calendar, he was also unsure if this was good or not.

Settling down on the sun loungers on the balcony they'd read for an hour or so before Harry snorted loudly and shook his head. Draco raised an eyebrow and smirked. "So basically, Daisy is just a giant fucking bellend, honestly - the only good person in this entire story is Gatsby and he just got fucking shot." he growled. Draco placed the book down on the small end table and laughed, a full belly laugh. "I never thought you'd have enjoyed a literature classic Potter." Draco, sounding that of his old self which stunned Harry a little.

"Well I may not have had the posh articulate and intelligent upbringing like you did, but I can enjoy a book Malfoy." Harry scowled at him, folding his arms like a scorned child. 

"Mmhm." came Draco's response, who still looked utterly humoured. "Please tell me that Daisy got absolutely fucked over, because I mean that bitch got everything she wanted then she just fucked off." Harry growled. Draco shrugged his shoulders "I don't really know, she wanted the security of Tom, I don't think she loved either man more than the money." Draco admitted.  
Harry rolled his eyes. "Money doesn't matter, being alone and rich isn't better than being poor and in love." he sighed in exasperation. Draco, thoroughly amused by now nodded. "Mm well, we're finished with that one - how about Romeo and Juliet?" He suggested. "Is that another one that will make me super frustrated and angry?" Harry moaned, sighing dramatically once again when Draco had nodded.

"Well we could just chat instead I suppose." Harry shrugged, turning his head towards Draco who smiled.

His smile turned to that of horror when his doorbell rang, however.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's the 7th chapter, internet issues are ripe with me at the moment. Apologies!


	8. An unlikely friend

Harry bit down on his lower lip, hard. A pang of guilt hit him like a freight train, what if he was making Draco worse? He didn’t want to be the reason he was anxious, he didn’t really know a lot about the other man, nor did he really know much about mental illness.

“Don’t worry, I’ll get it.” He smiled softly, placing a hand upon Draco’s trembling one. “Just stay here, you get that book ready and I’ll be back in a sec.” he stood up and walked towards the door, glancing back a little. He opened the door slowly, his eyes resting upon Adele from the Cafe. “Oh, Hi Adele.” Harry smiled.

“Hiya Harry! I had some left over pies in the cafe after we closed and well -“ she trailed off, as though lost in thought. “I wondered if you guys wanted some.” 

Harry thought for a second and nodded, turning around he gestured to Draco, who had started sweating by the looks of the beads running down his face.

“It’s Adele, she has pie.” He grinned. Draco frowned then exhaled, nodding slowly. “Oh.” He replied, standing up. “What kind of pie?” He enquired, raising an eyebrow.

Adele giggled from behind the door “Apple, rhubarb, cherry and key lime” she replied, poking her head round the door. “It’s not full pies, just left overs but they’re tasty!” She thrust the box in to Harry’s hand, taking him off guard, he stumbled slightly.

“Umm...” he mumbled, a little confused. “Well, thank you Adele uhhh...” he turned around, surprised as Draco began to walk towards the door. “Do you want to come in?” Draco asked softly.

Adele beamed and nodded “Oh yes! As long as you have tea and Teddy can come with me?” She asked, pleadingly.

“Teddy?” Hardy frowned, thinking back to his little god-son. “Yeah!” She exclaimed, waving frantically. A little shaggy dog barked enthusiastically and ran in to the apartment, startling Draco.  
“Oh hello.” Draco smiled, leaning down to pet the raggy looking dog, he stroked him and grinned as the dog began to lick his face.

Harry raised an eyebrow and laughed, Adele walked through and closed the door behind her.

“I’ll go grab some plates and put your kettle on!” She bounced off towards the kitchen, leaving Draco and Harry alone with Teddy.

“You like dogs?” Harry asked, stroking the little pup.  
“Well...” Draco pondered “I like this one.” He shrugged, making his way towards the balcony Teddy in tow.

Sitting down on his favourite lounger, he quickly transfigured a nearby plant pot to a third lounger for Adele and turned his head to Harry, a little startled. Adele, who was stood wide eyed nearly dropped the plates.

“What the hell was that?!” she shrieked, running towards the newly transfigured lounger, poking and prodding at it like it was some sort of mystical object. “That was a plant pot, a plant pot.. A plant pot, this was not... What did you do?!” She exclaimed, sitting down on the new addition. “I don’t...” she shook her head in awe.

Harry, who’s face had paled walked forwards slowly and eased himself down on to the lounger. “Draco, most muggles aren’t accustomed to seeing that” he choked out, beginning to bite down on his lip hard.

“Ah.. Well shit.” Draco mumbled, opening up the box of pie, his eyes lit up. “Well, we could just ignore it?” He suggested, shovelling a load of cherry pie on to the plates Adele had gotten earlier.

“So you guys are like super magic men?” She asked, grabbing a piece of pie for herself. “If you can do that, why do you buy food?” She asked curiously, biting in to the pie.

“Well transfigured food isn’t really.. Welll...” Harry frowned and grabbed some apple pie.

Adele beamed. “Tell. me. EVERYTHING” she lounged back and listened intently as Draco began to explain Wizards, magic, Hogwarts and everything in between.

——————

After they were throughly stuffed with pie, the three of them lay back in the loungers staring up at the nights sky, Harry’s mind racing with peculiar thoughts.

“Well, that sounds wonderful.” She mumbled dreamily. “I wish I was magical.” Draco chuckled “You are.” He replied simply, grabbing a hold of the copy of Romeo and Juliet from earlier. “Do you like books?” He asked Adele, who nodded smiling. “Ya, they’re good.” 

Draco opened the cover and began to read the first verses, making up funny accents for each character, it warmed Harry’s heart to see him interacting so openly, so enthusiastically. 

After several hours had passed, Adele had fallen asleep Teddy on her lap, Harry was in and out of sleep and Draco curled up, sleeping soundly with his new friends.

That night, he dreamed of flying in the stars, Harry and Adele with him, they were yelling and whooping, smiles plastered on their faces as they did somersaults in the air.

————-

Three days had passed since Adele, Draco and Harry had been eating pies on the balcony, Adele had come back every night after work with more leftovers, she’d even brought books of her own to share with the boys.

Harry had purchased a large plush rug, several beanbags and a television for Draco’s living room, he thought if this were to be a regular occurrence they’d need something else to do, that and he was looking forward to sharing his favourite movies with the pair.

On the fourth day, Harry had realised it had been over a week since he’d been home, but every time he suggested it the look on Draco’s face which turned from sadness, to anxiety to a downright hurt expression had encouraged him to stay.

Sitting on the rug, Harry had been watching a Lethal Weapon movie when Draco began to breathe a little heavier than what was ‘normal’

Turning his head lazily, he looked to Draco who was laying up against a beanbag, tears and a fearful expression on his face.

Harry shot up rather fast and shifted over to him, shaking his arm a little.  
“Hey, hey..” he nudged him a little more.  
“Are you okay? Draco?” He asked, worry clearly marking his features.

Draco looked up at him blankly, wiped the tears from his cheeks with the back of his hand and nodded. “I’m sorry.” He whimpered, his body shaking.

“What for?” asked Harry, wrapping his arms around him gently. “Hey, it’s okay.” he mumbled soothingly, Draco moved up to hug him back, burying his face in Harry’s chest. “I don’t know.” Came the meek reply, after a few minutes his chest stopped heaving and his crying subsided, leaving only the sound of seagulls squawking outside and the light sound of the movie playing. “You want to go for a walk?” Harry asked, pulling back slightly. Grey met green, Harry felt as though he was looking in to the other mans soul, he felt a little uncomfortable, but never faltered - he felt like this was a deep intimate moment that he was intruding.

“No, I think I’d just like to sit here with you for a while.” Draco whispered, grabbing a hold of Harry’s hand. He sniffed and shuffled to sit shoulder to shoulder with Harry, not really paying attention to the tv rather his heartbeat which threatened to pop out of his chest and the sound of Harry’s breathing.

‘What the hell is wrong with me?’ Draco thought, frowning down at his interlocked fingers. 

Harry smiled slightly, feeling perhaps just a little more flustered than he ought to be, a pink blush staining his cheeks.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well I’m sorry it’s taken so long to update this, but here’s your next chapter! Had quite a few of my own episodes recently and the lack of motivation for life has kind of affected my writing too.. Sorry!!


	9. I spy

Harry had sat through an entire movie marathon which included all of the Lethal Weapons, Die Hard, Labyrinth, for some reason Draco seemed to take interest in a Spice Girls movie which made him cringe inwardly, but nevertheless if it made him feel better then he was more than happy to watch it. After that, which Draco had described as "pish" they'd decided to watch Elvira, Mistress of the Dark which seemed to take Draco's particular interest and after in depth teasing about his attraction to boobs rather than the actual movie, they'd called it a night and Draco had gone to his actual bed that night, leaving Harry wondering in the living room, and very alone.

The next morning, Harry bit his lip hard, deep in thought. He knew he had to go back home, he knew he would have worried friends and family - that and he really needed to figure out what he was actually doing with his life. Staying with Draco had been a really nice escape - something he needed. Running a hand through his hair, Harry wasn't really sure how he planned to tell Draco that he needed to leave, every time he even mentioned that he would need to return Draco would pale and have some sort of panic attack. Harry decided, he would just go really quickly back, answer his owls, gather some clothes and sort out some things. 'I'll be back before he even wakes up.' He thought, nodding in agreement.

Standing up, Harry dusted himself down and wandered to the kitchen, he wrote up on the whiteboard attached to Draco's long forgotten calendar 'Gone to grab clothes and stuff, back soon.' He took one last look, torn. He nodded to himself and apparated out of the kitchen.

 

\---------------

 

Draco awoke, rubbing his eyes he peered over at the small clock on his bedside table and yawned. He felt pretty well rested considering, pulling himself out of bed he grabbed a t-shirt from the bottom of his bed and pulled it over his head, he looked in to the small round mirror and cringed, he looked thin, his hair was an absolute state too. 'Ugh' he thought as he wandered out the room, looking around he frowned and walked towards the kitchen, peering through the archway he turned around quickly, half jogging towards the balcony his stomach dropped. "Harry?" he called out frantically, after he looked everywhere, twice, he started to choke back sobs and fell on to the rug. He was alone.

A loud knock pulled him back from his crippling reality, he wiped his eyes and ran towards the door, flinging it open. Stood in front of him, Adele was smiling which quickly turned to that of worry when she saw the state of him. "Oh god, Draco are you okay?" she asked carefully, eyes scanning his body. "What happened? What's wrong?" she pushed, walking through the door she closed it behind her and shuffled him towards the sofa, where they sat down together.

"I don't know." he trembled, shaking his head. "Harry isn't here, I don't know where he's gone." he admitted sadly, head hung. "Oh god, did you two argue?" she asked, rubbing his back in circle motions. "No."

Adele sighed, shaking her head. "You need to clean yourself up a little Draco, here, I'll make a cup of tea and you go get dressed, yeah?" she asked softly, making a gesturing motion with her hand towards his bathroom, he nodded slowly and got up, walking towards it turning his head back towards her. "Go on, I'm just making tea." she grinned, walking towards the kitchen.

Once in the kitchen, Adele filled the kettle up and placed it back on the base, clicking the switch she turned around and leaned against the counter, eyes scanning the room - they rested upon the calendar with many X's and a note on the whiteboard. Shaking her head, she walked back through the archway "He's coming back, he left a note saying he's going to get clothes and shit" 

Draco peered round the bathroom door, a relieved smile on his face. "Okay."

 

\--------------

  
It had taken Harry way longer than he had expected to sort out everything he needed, after shoving his clothes in to a holdall he went in to the bathroom and gathered his toothbrush, toiletries and other 'random garbage' as he muttered to himself and added it to the side pocket of his bag. He wandered out in to the living room, bag slung across his shoulder to be greeted by a very angry looking Hermione Granger.

"Where the hell have you been Harry?!" she exclaimed loudly, a deep frown etched to her forehead. "Uhh..." He scratched the back of his head and smiled at her sheepishly. "Sorry 'Mione, I've been busy." he walked towards her and threw the bag on to the nearest soft surface. "You know, sorting my life and all that." he added vaguely, peering over to the window ledge where a massive stack of mail seemed to be laying. He gulped and averted his eyes.

"That is an unacceptable answer, I demand to know where you've been, we've all been worried sick!" she shouted, arms flapping wildly. "Ron has asked, Molly is pissed off, how could you?!"

Harry let out a sigh and ran his hand through his hair, where to begin? He could hardly say 'Well Hermione I've been spending my time with Draco Malfoy watching movies and eating left over pie with a very nice dog enthusiast cafe worker.' the thought gave a slight chuckle which in turn a cringe when he seen the deathly stare on Hermione's face.

"Well?!" she demanded, hands now placed firmly on hips.

"I've been with a friend." 

"What friend?" she scolded, glaring at him.

"You know... A friend." he replied simply, picking his bag up once again, he wandered to the window and shoved the mail in the other side pocket of his holdall. "I'll tell you soon, okay?" he promised, peering back. Hermione wore a tired expression and nodded in defeat. "Are you safe?" she whispered, he wasn't even sure she'd said it. "Yes." he answered simply.

 

\---------------

 

Adele had made tea, which was quite possibly the best cup of tea Draco had ever tasted, he hummed contently as he gripped the mug with both hands. Adele snorted and shook her head. "Honestly, I've never seen someone look so content with a cup of tea before." Shrugging Draco smiled softly and then frowned. "Where's Teddy today?" he asked, looking around the room as if he would be able to spot him. "Oh, he's at the doggy daycare place, he gets a nice haircut and some other woofable grooming things." 

Draco frowned deeper, she really was a strange girl. "I could do with a haircut." he mumbled. "I can give you one! I trained in that but it wasn't very interesting so I didn't actually get a job doing it." Standing up abruptly, Adele fled the apartment for several minutes, returning with a big bag full of random hairdressing equipment.

Sitting quietly, Draco listened as Adele chatted about people who had come in to the Cafe that day, the food she cooked, stories she'd heard, she talked about a man who owned a dog on her usual route taking Teddy for a walk, how she'd love to talk to him but she was too shy. After an hour, Draco stood in front of the mirror donning a shorter, wavier haircut - not something he'd have personally chosen, quite honestly it made him look like some teens dream but he was happy nonetheless.

"Thanks Adele." he smiled warmly. Giggling, she nodded her head. "You look like a supermodel!" she exclaimed, packing the equipment away in to her bag.

 

\----------------

 

A little while later, Harry returned with a pop and dropped his bag down beside the sofa. He turned around, eyes wide as he spotted Draco. "Wow." he breathed, suddenly feeling his heart race a little. "You look..." He trailed off, interrupted by Adele. "Gorgeous!" she finished his sentence, grinning widely like a banshee. 

"Go on then Draco, give your boyfriend a twirl!" She said a little bit too enthusiastically, unaware she'd gotten entirely the wrong end of the stick, Draco's eyes widened and behind her, Harry choked.

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Beep. I'm spoiling you guys, two chapters in such short succession? Again, sorry that it's taken me so long to come back to this. I'll be updating a lot more frequently and I'm also working on some other stuff too. <3


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